From the west side...

there is life, we have noted such. Lone wolves, deer packs, and the odd cougar (not the one with tight jeans) will cross by the 7 foot fence they put up on the river bend. They meekly try to rush pass without being sighted, that is until they hit the highway. They try to take a small leap and bound and usually there is a travesty. 1 out of 7 is sure to be unlucky.
Perhaps it's because they have just torn up half the side of the lake to build a new Movie Theatre/ Shopping all Extravaganza like they have in the big cities. Because going that extra 10 k across town is menial..when really, we could have one right here.

The owls are displaced. Going into shelters. One thing I am happy about, is we sure know how to take care of our homeless.....pets. Meanwhile the tourists and tax payers get irritated by the human garbage and the threat they leave, you know..by just being there and being homeless...it scares them. Meanwhile they have no grasp on reality and not everyone has a garbage disposal and not everyone wants one. No one needs one.

So into a brighter light..sustainable living is what i hope for in this community, after i bitch stomp a few in the face/neck.

I will most definitely let my human shit in the park, and tell your dog to clean up after my mess.

The Art of Watching Alcoholics Die through A Lotto Window of a Small Local Bar in Westbank

When Neil's wife died, we all looked at eachother, as if it weren't possible that Neil surpassed his wife.
How could Neil live. That drunk!
It happened again. Weeks later.

Roy died.
Lively, vital, and British.

When the new girl told me Roy died, all i could see was Neil wavering at the bus stop, waiting to cross the street, holding on for dear life. If a wind were to blow, Neil would go.

Busses passed. Lotto's were won. Roy died. Neil was there, leaning to and fro, waiting for the 21 Night Route, with his Phymatous rosacea  in place. I pretended i didn't see him. Other regulars from the shop honked at him. He never budged.

The functioning alcoholic.
The non-functioning, the one who should have left.

Its sad, if Neil died, people would say "Oh, bummer....it was a matter of time" and no tears.
it's like he wants to be dead.
Roy wasn't like him at all.

And in the meantime all the waitresses are talking about the shit Jay-z concert they went to.

myself, too concerned with maybe having a spatial infection...tried to care less.

Small town party.

jager bombs, big trucks, fake titties, dumb, crappy musicians, mall fashion, pub food, illiteracy.

i'm thinking "slaves" as i stock the beers. Like i could ever cry.
This shit.

They are closing us down.

The Zellers used to be the main. The parking lot was huge, perhaps huge with expectations. Now, Wal- Mart and a double lane entrance is to intricate for a pedestrian to understand. Maybe the excitement of the new store makes people drive funny.

People are complaining about it.
I want to know..who is Wal Mart?

Apparently, he can take over.

Wal Mart was a single child. He only had one hand, born with a dead left hand. He had to help his mother deliver him. He reached into her vagina and pulled himself out. Sadly, the cord wrapped around his fingers and killed all feeling in his right hand. He had feeling in his palms. Hence his ability to smack workers right up side the head.


Now all of our stores are shutting down.
We only have one.

We have a beautiful lake, vast hillsides ordained with vinyards..and a Wal Mart is running for mayor.

A weekend of sport - UK

Whilst I have tried to understand American Football, (and believe me, I have!) I still find it hard to work out. I kinda get the idea of 'downs', I know what a touchdown is (although am still a little bit baffled as the ball doesn't ever seem to actually get touched down) and I'm almost sure I understand what a quarterback is. I don't understand 'blitzes' and I have no clue why there are so many people in a team.

I went to a game once. It's like a family day out. Not bad and some fun to be had.

I understand football (or soccer as it's known over the pond). I totally get the offside rule, why a free kick might be given and how it's scored. (Let's face it, it's not difficult). But I hate the game.

My sons used to play and the parents are awful, the coaches were awful and the kids were almost drilled into becoming animals. If I heard one parent shout 'Take him out' or 'Break his legs' once, I heard them a thousand times. Chants from stadium grandstands of 'The referee's a wanker' are often heard and if a goalie kicks a ball out it's usually heard to the sound of the opposing fans shouting.. 'You're shit.. ahhhh'.

It's dangerous and aggressive. More so than its American counterpart and is well known for its aggressive and unruly fans. If you've never heard of the ICF, look them up.

So, I suggested my children take up Rugby. You might think that that was a bad move on my part. But, the referee is called 'sir' by the players. No one argues over a decision. Tackles are fair and the boys all meet after the game in a club house for dinner. The aggression is on the field and is controlled. The parents all seem to be nice. You don't hear the opposing parents suggesting their children should 'kill' the opposition. There are accidents, my middle son broke his clavicle. But that was mainly down to his exuberance rather than anything malicious. And it mended!

So, to this weekend.

There are a number of football matches in the Premiership, Superbowl hits our screens and the Rugby Union Six Nations starts.

My sons want to watch all of it. I don't. We compromised. We get to watch the English rugby, the French rugby and the Superbowl.

I'll sit and sigh over the thighs of the rugby players and sit in confusion over the American football players.. but what I won't be doing is watching football (soccer) fans shouting abuse and the players falling over at the slightest touch.

Fair compromise, I think!

Ban on pyjamas? - UK

I've occasionally been known to pop out without jumping in the shower first. I've even been known to leave my flip flop style slippers on whilst nipping to the offy (offy = british word for off license: a shop that sells cigarettes, alcohol and snacks), but who would go out without changing out of their pj's? It's so common in St Mellons, Tescos has banned it happening!

I bloody love Wales!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8484116.stm

How England sees America - UK

Came across this some time ago, thought it could do with an airing.

Interestingly, it's written about an English viewpoint, by an American! The best part is the debate afterwards though.

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/postglobal/america/2007/06/how_england_sees_america_1.html

And a blog by an American and their view of England. The hamburger story made me laugh! Fair play!

http://britishexpats.com/blogs/BE%20Widow/1319/England+-+An+American&%2339;s+Point+of+View.html

America's Funnyman - Neil Hamburger

BBC Article on the American Love of Motor Homes

Here it is.

So, what are we supposed to do? - UK

For those of you that don't know, I am a teacher. I love my job. I am a good teacher; Outstanding, if you want the opinion of my peers when formally assessing my teaching abilities. I am, however, becoming more alarmed at the allowance of students to get more violent with little or no reprimand.

I have witnessed attacks on staff members and have been subjected to attacks myself. I've watched students fight with each other, use verbal obscenities at each other and been compelled to intervene, so today's story in The Independent is worrying.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/union-warns-teachers-not-to-break-up-playground-fights-1876402.html

Recently, a debate has arisen in British press about the right to defend ones own home. A man was convicted and jailed for 30 months for attacking an intruder (who tied both him and his family up, then threatened to kill them). He was subsequently released but the conviction was not quashed. The argument for his jail term was because he overreacted when apprehending the intruder. The intruder was not tried as he had suffered some brain damage in the attack. Not enough to stop him, he was later found guilty of a further crime, perpetrated after invading this man's home.

Both stories are based on the idea that one has to weigh up the risk to themselves and/ or others before intervening, or suffer the consequences.

I don't know what the right thing to do is, but I can tell you that if either my home were being attacked or I saw a student being attacked, human nature would tell me to intervene. I'm not sure, with the adrenalin pumping, I would be able to take an objective step back and think about how my actions might affect the other person. But I would hope I was doing the right thing.

QI - UK

One of my favourite shows. It is comedy gold at a more intellectual level with one of my favourite English comedians.. Stephen Fry.

Always makes me smile.

Great Britain.. Nil Points! - UK

Being a part of Europe has its good points, and its bad points.

There is a growing concern amongst the British that too much power is being given to central Europe. The election of the President of Europe, alongside the European Court of Human Rights, and the European Central Bank, means that more and more of the British way of life is being invaded by our friends and neighbours. Perhaps invaded is too strong a word, but the 'Entente Cordiale' that was once prevalent appears to be diminishing into more of a weak handshake, at times.

Here's an example:

Back in the day, in Britain, there was a game show by the name of 'It's a Knockout'. It was a fun game, run in heats, with ridiculous games and antics, commentated by Stuart Hall. If you won, you would get to compete in 'Jeux Sans Frontieres' against the rest of Europe's finest! (an example follows!!) GB actually did quite well at this and let's be honest, we're not good at much!

By the end of the 1980's (seemingly when Europe became a freer place to travel and live, if you were European) it died a death. No one was interested anymore.. But it didn't matter. The Brits still had Eurovision!

The Eurovision Song Contest (or Eurovision as it's known in these here parts!) is a Europe wide competition to find Europe's best song, that has been running since 1956, for those countries within the European Broadcasting Union. It used to be about creating reasonably good music (Abba and Sandy Shaw came from Eurovision, Nena and her 99 red balloons and 'Congratulations' by Sir Cliff Richard did too, although I'm not suggesting for a second that they are my kind of music in any way, shape or form!) but more recently it's a show to show solidarity amongst areas of Europe and stamp a firm foot of protest against 'Good Ol' Blighty' (apparently since our invasion of Bosnia in the 90's, alongside Iraq and Kuwait!).

Every Bank Holiday Monday, at the end of May, thousands of households across Britain have 'Eurovision' Parties. Makeshift score cards are made, fancy dress costumes are donned, the T.V. gets turned on and the drinks start to flow. Sweepstakes are drawn and mild mannered people suddenly find themselves screaming 'Come on Macedonia' at the television.

The music largely consists of irrelevant, cheesey europop or dramatic power ballarding maniacs. Every year an curve ball gets thrown into the mix. Famously in 1998 an Israeli transsexual won, much to the disgust of some competing countries. In 2006, Bulgaria entered a transvestite and the Ukraine followed by doing the same a year later. Russia has entered a strange looking bunch of men dressed as aliens recently and Germany entered a screaming lunatic, from what I recall of his attempts at singing!

A phone number is flashed up for every country and you get to phone in and vote. A bit like 'American Idol' and vote they do, in their millions!

It's hilarious to watch Sweden vote for Norway, Ukraine vote for Russia, Macedonia vote for Greece.. and no bugger voting for us! (except Ireland, and that's just because they're nice and a lot of them live here!)

My point? Well, my point is this.. Great Britain is no longer looked upon as a major league player in this contest.. Because of our 'close relationship' with America, the rest of Europe are snubbing us on the voting front. I kid you not!

So, here's what you do.. Book a holiday for the end of May, to anywhere other than England.. and vote for us!

Harry Caray - Chicago, United States

The legendary announcer for the Chicago Cubs baseball team. Instantly recognizable voice, appearance, everything. A well loved icon.





Don't miss comedian Will Farrell's legendary impersonation of Harry Caray!

Jack Rebney - RV Salesman - United States

1970's -80's Childrens TV.. Political incorrectness at its finest! - UK

Grange Hill ran for 30 years, only ending very recently. Most British kids would have been brought up on this! Here's a snapshot through the older decades..

1987 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship - United States

The person who posted this on Youtube disabled embedding, so you'll have to click on the link to watch it there.

This video is an amazing document; the 80s American aerobics fad, the outfits, the set design, and the promo for the bad movie at the start of the clip. A gem.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P75hd284E9Y

Ashbourne Shrovetide Football - The original football! - UK

Click here to read more - Thanks Michelle!

Dancing Outlaw - West Virginia, USA

This alternately funny and depressing 1991 film documents poverty, talent, creativity, eccentricity, substance abuse, spousal abuse, and family life in rural West Virginia. When Shirley Collins traveled through West Virginia and Kentucky with Alan Lomax in the 1960s, she discovered many very old Elizabethan folk songs that had fallen completely out of use in Great Britain still being sung by the people there. The poverty and beauty of West Virginia stems from the same basic source; the rugged and isolating mountain terrain, which has always made farming impractical. Wild hogs, hunting, some home produce, corn, and alcohol formed the early substance of most settlers' lives in this part of the United States. My wife has family roots in West Virginia, and despite the poverty and ignorance which so deeply impacts many people there, it is a proud heritage.

Enjoy.

John Records Landecker - Chicago Radio Personality

Watch what we're doing now! - United States

Thanks to Ryan in California for this one.

Greenscreen Grandmas - United States

"This is what happens when you put your Grandmothers in front of a green screen and show them the image that will be behind them as they ride a roller coaster."